Mabel or Maud

I couldn’t care enough to wake up when I was supposed to.

So I woke up at 11:30 instead of 9:30 and still didn’t want to get out of bed. I would have been very pleased, at that moment, to spend the rest of the day in bed. I didn’t want the obligations to everyone else, I didn’t want to have to put on real clothes, or put on make-up, and I didn’t want to have my shit together.

But you know, as I said before: I am the motherfucking queen at having my shit together. It’s this little part of me that sits as ramrod straight as 19th century women, hands primly crossed in her lap, and who glares at me, over the top of her glasses. It’s the part of me that inevitably makes me put on my big girl panties and sexy boots and makes me kick some ass. (Her name is still floating between Mabel and Maud.)

(See this photo for reference.)

And today, that part of me informed my larger self that I was done wallowing, however much I was enjoying it.

“Stop feeling so sorry for yourself,” Mabel or Maud snapped. “You’re feeling entitled to sleeping away your feelings and shutting yourself off from society. And furthermore, eating all those feelings is going to make you fat. You are not entitled to any of these things. You’re becoming insufferable. You’ve been wallowing for three days. No one likes seeing you like this. Stop being a leech on humanity and get your shit together.”

She’s kind of a bitch, if I haven’t mentioned that already.

So I actually put on real pants today–I know most of the general populace does not consider leggings pants–and a real shirt. I put make-up on. I curled my hair. I put boots on, instead of sneakers.

I got my “Fuck you” face on, and started, however willingly, getting my shit together. No more wallowing. Normal me is making a comeback. You can thank Mabel or Maud–and pick a name for her too, while you’re at it–and I’m still accepting all hugs and donations of candy. (I will eat my feelings if I want to, eff you Mabel or Maud, you don’t have to truck up the hill to work every morning.)

The queen is coming back, for a hellbent spring semester.

😀