….being a real person is much too difficult.
I’m currently in plaid sweatpants (…I know) with a crazy granny bun with a Kool Aid bottle in my mouth. No one can actually see me right now (HA, SECOND FLOOR, TAKE THAT), so my inner crazy is finally coming out.
My theory is that if I at least look put-together/functional, I’ll fool everyone else. I will also feel better about myself when I start capering backstage and doing Bartok voices over headset with my fellow stage manager.
On Monday, after getting home at 3 am, I crawled out of my hole and drank 54 ounces of iced coffee, allowing me to be upright and semi-functional. (Although admittedly, the chats over headset got rullll weird, sorry lighting booth.)
My ridiculous professor walked into class to see me on me face down on my desk, clutching a 30 oz. cup of coffee. He was extra nice to me after class when I scheduled an appointment for office hours; I think he was treating the crazy girl with extra caution.
On Tuesday, I called into work at 3 am (well, I emailed into work…) and still somehow managed to be five minutes late for class–a class I had skipped on Thursday, whoops–earning a death glare from my professor. She’s actually the nicest lady ever, which made the death glare so much more awful.
I think my quote of the day was: “You do realize that my gift to humanity today is that I both bathed and put clothes on, right?”
(And that I put deodorant on. You’re welcome. Thank me later.)
The thing is, I definitely don’t have it nearly as bad as the performers. I’m not actually expected to do anything but raise and lower the curtain (more about that particular topic in a minute), call light cues, sweep the stage, time rehearsals, and make weird faces from Stage Right over to Stage Left. They’re actually the ones who are out under the lights singing and dancing and sweating and doing work.
About the curtain.
Two fantastic fail moments.
One. First time using the curtain. I was given a quick crash course about ten minutes before–and I mean, come on. It’s raising and lowering a curtain. How hard can that be? WELL IF YOU’RE ME…
I’m up on the curtain catwalk, literally jumping onto the rope, trying to make my weight move the curtain.
“Wait. I can’t actually be this weak. I know my upper body strength is like non-existent, but it’s just a goddamn curtain. Yes, I know there are weights on it, but there’s not that many weights on it…”
So follows the internal conversation I had with myself while hopping up and down trying to get this stupid curtain down. Someone had to be sent up to help me, whereupon it was revealed that I had not released the lock that held the curtain.
Good Amy. Good.
Moment two.
Top of the run tonight and the officer number is called and I am cued from Stage Left to bring the curtain up. Except that I’m pulling down and the curtain is pooling on the stage.
“OTHER. WAY.”
“Ah shit.”
I am awesome at life.
Can we also talk about how I have no printer balance left? I destroyed not only mine, but my suitemate’s printer balance, meaning I printed about $60 worth of material this semester? Fuck me. English major problems.
Also the fact that I’ve been averaging one meal a day and 24+ ounces of coffee is a little ridiculous. I’m okay with it.
Also, for anyone in the SUNY Geneseo area, you should come see MTC: (Musical Theatre Club) Awesome Show, Great Job! It runs Thursday (11/15), Friday (11/16), and Saturday (11/17) at 8 pm, and admission is free! Come at 6:15 to get tickets in the Alice Austin Theatre, located in Brodie Hall.
The Wanderer 